Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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