does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
