it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
