no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
