Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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