guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
