Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
