Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
