Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
