well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
