Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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