On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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