listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
