somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize