I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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