I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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