i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm at about main and main street
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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