I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
