Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
