He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bring me that man meat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
