Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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