BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
