He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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