Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
