On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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