...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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