So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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