Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
