I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
