fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
