i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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