PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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