According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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