i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
