Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
