i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
