nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
