Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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