Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
