Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we're so committed to being not committed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
