Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize