so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My cat gives me a boner
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
