"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
