I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
