a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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