I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
