okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
