Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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