i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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