Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
