New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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