Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
