Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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