He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
