margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
