I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
