my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The air taste purple.
Randomize
