Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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