It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
