Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize