You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
