it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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