Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
