it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
