Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
