yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
