Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
